But What If I Don’t Wanna Be a Brand?

“Instagram is stupid” is the last text I got from my little sister 5 minutes ago.

She was fed up with the social media giant for the fourteenth time.

Her reasons – different from my own but still valid.

As an expat, she feels like the travel space is crowded.

Crowded with too many people telling you to quit your job and then selling a download that teaches you to be just like them. Too many fashion photos in “formation” without enough actual information about their location. And an algorithm that keeps her smiley, vibrant pics at a mere 250 likes.

A number that my follower-deficient account laughs at.

My problem with IG is a little more mundane; a tad more mental.

I hesitate to go further.

I’m biting my Twitter fingers as we speak, knowing that I’ve just entered No Man’s Land.

Afraid to step in the trenches of people who’ve curated perfectly-positioned-pastel-profile pages..

So let me just begin with an apology.

I’m sorry.

But what if I don’t wanna be a brand?

(Clenches teeth, closes eyes, and waits for atomic reaction).

I dunno guys.

It just feels like if I’m not “up to somethin” as so many of my digital friends seem to be each day, then I’m constantly on the outskirts of somethin; like a party that I’ve waited 5 years to get in.

You know, just wallflowerin’ it out in the regular line, hoping someone notices me and asks me to join them inside where they’ll introduce me to other influencers, I mean, partygoers.

Then like all parties, 55 mins in I’m like, “Why am I here? I wanna go home. I hate clubs”.

So I get ready to leave, grab my coat content with my life from the comfort of my home

But just as I’m about to step foot out the in-crowd and head towards the door I remember – –

“Oh shit! I’m a working creative and I need this. I need these people. I need this spotlight, these endorsements, this validation, this approval – this cosign, this mention.

I need all this in order to sell, to network, to be successful…right?”

And this is my dilemma.

As a writer, I want to share my work.

As a creator, I have to share my work.

It is at the essence of who I am and I am grateful for the gift of a well-developed right brain and the platform to present it. Honestly, I am. But I wonder, is it the only way?

Why is it that lately, I feel all my prosperity, all my triumphs, all my achievements are tied to a solid social strategy?

When I post, how often I post, the right hashtags, adequate line spacing, not too much exposure on the Vsco filter, but just a little more – all so short-attention-spanned strangers will “like” and consequently, “follow” my life.

That’s a lot of pressure. – to hang all your hopes on a little red button as a sign of progression?

Is that where we are? Is this a sign of the times? A paradigm shift? Where success as an artist, vendor, an interesting person all depends solely on our digital reach?

A reach, that according to my handy insights feature is from here to my momma’s house. Right in her yahoo inbox. Where she replies to my blog posts with, “I don’t get it?” and “Why so many curse words?”

There’s gotta be a better way. Like, I gotta know how the creators of Ben & Jerry’s did it without the use of social media. How did they start slangin ice cream without uannoyingly announcing to their followers in the caption,

“Workin on somethin. I’ll stunt when it’s official. Just know it’s gon be cold!” #boss. #cookiesanddreams. #freezerchallenge. #teamnosleep.

Look. I live a tortoiseshell kind of life. I poke my head out when I wanna and I move at a pace that is comfortable for me.

I don’t believe that the only kind of success is instant and I don’t need a lot to be happy.

But social media makes me feel like I do. And while I am interested in selling my work at some point,

I have little interest in holding a hunnid-dolla brunch about it. (Bites nails nervously). Again I’m sorry.

I’m not trying to offend anybody. I’m not trying to get rich quick*, and I definitely don’t wanna be famous.

And you wanna know something else, I’m not trying to go crazy figuring out this got damn algorithm either. What I look like? An engineer?

No. I’m an introverted entrepreneur. A writer who takes time to process and ponder. A twerker. A healer. A comedian. An artist. A…

I am so many things.

Is that ok?  Can I post a hood meme today and information about the new moon tomorrow? Can I be on here heavy one week and disappear the next?

You know, without it being “off-brand”?

If not, my little sister’s right.

Instagram is stupid.


**UPDATE: At this point, I would in fact like to get rich quick. TF was I on?

Are you an artist? An introverted entrepreneur? How do you navigate this social media shindig?

Leave a Reply