I’m the Queen of…

I’m a pretty modest gal.
But there are some things I reign supreme in.
In fact, there are 36 things I’m royally fantastic at.

And sure, some will argue that 34 of those traits are ‘pri-tee’ darn unremarkable.

But I am my own worst critic so as the lil rude ass boy on Forrest Gump said, “Seats taken”

Funny tho. After completing this list, I felt kinda good about me and all my mediocrity. No fuh real. I legit popped my collar midway through, looked in my phone camera (because what are mirrors) and said to myself, “You. Are the Khaleesi of Okay-ness girl”

So without further ado.

I am the Queen of:

1. Letting avocados rot
2. Eating leftovers that don’t belong to me
3. Digital eye rolls
4. Shrinkage
5. Saying, “Excuse me. These fries are cold”
6. Picking you up late from the airport and not apologizing
7. Exclaiming, “Oh shit! That was today?!”
8. Applying to jobs I’m over qualified for and have no innate interest in
9. Empathy
10. Personality tests
11. Mentally responding to text messages
12. Making a left turn on a one way at a red light. (Shout out to the intersection at North Ave. & Spring St.)
13. Flipping the price tag over and saying. “Oh hellll naw!” in a quiet boutique
14. Buying books and not reading’em
15. The remote. (Remember how Edward Scisscorhands did that Bonsai shit with the bushes? Well thats how I look when a remote is in my hand)
16. “My bad. I didn’t see your call”
17. Wonky Eyelashes
18. Having one or more broke acrylic nails
19. Stretch pants
20. Cat boogers
21. Procrastination
22. Having my phone on silent
23. Not helping you move
24. The word ‘perhaps’ (Nobody in a 120 mile radius uses perhaps as much as me)
25. Payment arrangements
26. Not networking
27. Bringing my own coffee in the coffee shop
28. Drinking out of the juice carton in the middle of the night
29. Canceling plans
30. Imitating a skeptical black grandma
31. Not combing my hair
32. Sports bras
33. Ridin on ‘E’
34. Ridin on ‘E’ with the air on
35. Ridin on ‘E’ with the air on and the windows down
36. Declaring, “I’m the Queen of…”

Been hard on yourself lately? Need a pick-me-up? Write a list of things you sit on the throne of — no matter how mundane or middle-of-the-road. Jot it down and join me in the Land of Okayness.